Articulating with Angus

I have had the privilege of living with priceless British humour for the past two weeks, and it would be greedy of me to keep these quotes from you, blog readers. Please keep in mind that these selected quotes of Angus are only the ones I remember at the end of the day. Similar words flow constantly from his mouth. If you desire a more realistic sound and visual, please imagine that all of these sentences were spoken by Senator Palpatine from Star Wars. I'm hoping to get some video and/or voice recording from another WWOOFer soon. Enjoy! 

People are getting to be so much alike, and it's all terribly boring. This is coming from someone who used to take meeting minutes in Shakespearean English, and no one ever knew what the hell I was saying.

I hate the word "awesome." I hate the way it's used in America. "Awesome" is meant to describe a vision of God or something that focuses you on the Divine. In America, it means "interesting."

All you have to do is what you want.

All you have to do is wear trainers, short trousers, a brazier, something over it, and you can do whatever the hell you want.

That's absolute nonsense!

My birthday is the 26th of December, and my rival's is the day before. He means Jesus. And he constantly compares himself to Jesus.

Eighty-five-year-old man was explaining to us how he fell, and Angus interrupted: I think you fell because you saw a pretty girl and wanted to be rescued by her.

I had a brush with the King of Ethiopia once. The Princess of Abu Dhabi couldn't seem to get it through her head that the center of Rome was the Spanish Steps, so she told the king, "I'm at Valentino's!"

Once in London, I heard a man getting brutally beaten in the apartment above me, and so I called the police and said, "I'm going up!" I'm not a particularly brave person, but what saved me was the fact that I said I had called the police. I got eleven cuts on my head. The man hit me with a silver candlestick.

I think we should tie him up by his heels and slit his throat. Then Michelle jokingly chimed in with something about beating him to a pulp, and Angus added: In acid.

Foie gras is the continuous force-feeding of geese until they die. Their livers are delicious! Caterina mentioned how awful it must be for the birds and how they can't fly away. Yes, lovey, we must just accept the fact that we're not too nice to animals.

You know that I'm quite interested in Persia. I was on the Caspian Sea once, and the man who was taking me there didn't much care for the Shah. Only the Shah is supposed to eat golden caviar, and so I was given golden caviar on the Caspian Sea.

When asked if he ever danced the tango: I once broke a woman in half while dancing the tango. Points to hip Right there! Blood everywhere. I convinced the police that it hadn't happened.

My body metabolizes everything. I'm telling you I don't get fat. I burn everything. There is a fire inside my body that burns everything.

I'll give you a quote for your blog! I was once in bed with a countess from France, and her husband telephoned me right then. He said, "I'm taking the first flight from Paris to London, and I'm going to kill you with my revolver." True story. What happened? I don't know. He missed the flight.

My secretary used to bring a bottle of champagne into work every morning to start the day. Advertising in London in the '60s was mad! Everyone had 10 lovers. Emily makes a frowny face. Now you CAN'T go and judge a time in history by your own time's perspective. I'm telling you, it was NORMAL.

I hope you were enlightened by this brief glimpse into our life here in Calatafimi. For more information, please chick here.